“You Can’t Have Lunch Until Your Chores Are Finished.”

There is a basic and self-evident truth about life: you work, you eat. The Little Red Hen, The Ant and The Grasshopper–children’s stories since the beginning of time point to hard work and diligence as the mother of good fortune. While we know it is God who ultimately blesses our efforts and that fortune is a result of that blessing, we have a responsibility to prepare our kids for the real world. And in the real world, the successful work.

We spend about 18 years with our kids, we pour into them what skills we can, we cart them to band practice and music lessons, from track meet to soccer games, we teach them how to do laundry and prepare healthy foods, how to manage money and do basic car repairs. The finest education or skill set all stack the deck, but without a strong and unwavering work ethic, they’re crippled.

There is an immeasurable difference between teaching someone a skill and preparing them to use the skill. I can teach you how to cook, but you have to work long and hard to become the next top chef.

The crux of the issue is this: we live in a time where you can learn almost anything instantly. It’s as easy as grabbing a phone and asking sweetly, “Siri, teach me how to Whip it, Nae Nae.” Ten minutes later you’ve got Jagger moves, and yet we’re still faced with unbelievable poverty levels and unsustainable masses on government assistance. Why? Because precious few are taught to work, taught the art of diligence, the day in day out grind, and the doing it when we don’t feel like it. Not only to do the work but to do it well. This is what separates the average from extraordinary. The employee from the employer.

This is, or at least should be, taught young. Nothing is free. “You live here, we feed you and take care of you, and in exchange you do your chores.” It starts with tasks as simple as, “pick up your toys.” It has simple rewards, “now you can eat lunch.” The rewards grow as you and the amount of effort do. You can be a genius and never end up successful if you don’t learn the importance of diligence in work.

Teaching your children to quickly, efficiently and thoroughly do their work prepares them to take their skills to market. To show up on time, to focus on their job, to be respected in the work place, to earn their stripes.

It’s not too much to expect a two year old to pick up toys, a 10 year old to clean the bathroom, a 13 year old to make dinner or mow the lawn. Setting expectations of work on children enables them to seamlessly transition from child to adult without Peter Panning it up for 5-10 years. Childhood, the teen years, is a launching pad for the rest of life. A coach wouldn’t tell a football player getting to play the biggest game of his career to skip practice for a few months. Why tell a 15 year old to take it easy? He’s getting ready to face the giants, to live the adventure; let him prepare. This whole “let them be little” doesn’t cut it when “little” turns 20 and has no desire to go conquer the world. Coddling is crippling. Teach children to work, and sometimes it’s as simple as, “You can’t have lunch until your chores are done.”

Families need a balance of work and play, but the reality is most of life is made up of work. Our play, our self-indulgence of (insert your own vice here) should never outweigh our work, our purpose in life, our duty to contribute to a greater cause.

We own a little bakery and two out of four of our kids that still live at home don’t especially love baking. But they still come in, wash dishes, organize, sweep, label orders, and package baked goods a few hours a day because they enjoy the benefits of the bakery and they know this is a family endeavor. We are one team running towards the same goal line. Even the 7 year old can sweep, or roll out cookie dough, and because she has been taught the skill she can color fondant. Most importantly she knows that once she’s in the bakery, hair pulled up, gloves on and has been assigned a task she has to complete it. There’s no, “Well this is boring, I’m going to watch TV” nonsense.

Is there always a good attitude? No. But it doesn’t remove our responsibility to teach it and more importantly exhibit it ourselves.

When skill and hard work join forces, success is unavoidable.

Kathy and her husband Jeff enjoy a simple yet bustling life in the South. Following their dreams and utilizing their gifts, they now run Valor Catering, a full-scale bakery and catering service, working out of their bakery built on their home premise. They also homeschool the last 3 of their 7 children, meshing together their hands-on philosophy of life and education.