The Sacred Gift

I just stood there and stared. The picture of innocence who captured my heart the very moment he took his first breath now fills our lives with amazement and joy. Our last grandchild has grown so quickly from his 13-pound birthweight to a tall, handsome 8-year old who thinks he’s 18! Momentarily stunned at how fast the years have passed, memories of our children’s early years began to flood my mind. Years of hopeless childlessness to an unexpected quiver full, much to the amazement of medical science. God had His plan that would not be easily thwarted by diagnoses and prognoses. But, that’s another story for another time.

I couldn’t help but think of the stark difference between my own upbringing and what our children face as they are raising their own families in our self-absorbed culture. I admit, I struggle with this—parenting my own children seemed so much easier than what we witness today. When I was a youngster, there were absolutes, morals, boundaries, and respect as each child experienced their personal yet carefully guided quest for independence and maturity. Sadly, parents forfeiting the opportunity to invest in their children’s lives by example and by teaching these timeless virtues have taken a toll on today’s modern society. While some forms of transformation and progression are, without question, beneficial to society, there are also some dangerous trends that lend to the much different contemporary American culture in which our children today are growing.

As a parent of six adult children and grandparent of thirteen, I’ve observed some troubling changes in the role of parenting that are tied directly to the increased numbers of troubled youth who have been caught in the trap of addictions and the many faces of rebellion.

Parenting Is a Full-Time Commitment

Simply put, being a parent is more than having a baby. Looking at the definition of parent is an interesting find. Father or mother…a protector or guardian. It is the last three words that express my point. Too many parents have bypassed the role of protector or guardian of their young by allowing their personal focus to turn from their children to their own quest for social, financial and emotional needs and desires. While the parental role begins at the moment of conception where the mother’s body becomes the natural protector or guardian of a most innocent and fragile growing human being, the all-important parenting task goes far beyond the sweet cuddly baby stage. A child in their clumsy pre-teen years, the challenging teen years, or the early adult years is no less in need of the parent’s role as protector or guardian than the newborn baby. In fact, very often the child’s growth toward independence and emotional maturity requires an increased measure of parental involvement, not less. It is during these stages of a child’s growth that values are anchored and solidified, they are taught to appreciate their family and faith community, they learn to make good decisions, to be considerate and respectful of others, to plan a path toward achieving their goals, all of which prepare them to one day become parents of their own children, personally stepping into the role of protector or guardian.

Being a Parent Is a Sacred Gift

There is a growing warfare targeting the preborn child. But, it doesn’t stop there! The neglect and abuse of children is rampant in just about every level of society. Conception, for some, has become a curse, a bother, or a burden too heavy to bear. For an alarming number of preborn children, the womb is no longer a nurturing sanctuary where the most innocent and fragile lives are protected and guarded. Once the excitement over their cute first smiles, baby steps, seemingly senseless babbling words, etc., children become a stumbling block to parents who focus their lives more on career, social interaction, and financial success. Children are often cast aside to day care facilities, nannies, or even grandparents while the parents pursue financial independence, investments and the ever-present conviction that more money and success is far better for children than the nurturing and guidance of a full-time parent. It is true that many families need the income of both parents, and that’s totally understandable – we did as well. But, even with both of us working, we totally invested our lives outside of work in raising our children, being sure they had the benefit of growing up in a faith community, experiencing socialization through their extra-curricular activities with both parents involved, and more. Just because a household has two incomes, parents are not excused from the responsibility of devoting their lives to training their children to have a healthy understanding of God, to love others, respect property, follow the rules, submit to authority, and be kind. To ignore the sacredness of parenthood is to deny our offspring the opportunity to grow, to succeed, and to become positive examples of maturity and integrity to following generations.

As I listen to the news and read first-hand accounts of what is happening across our nation, I grieve. Our society has embarked a dark path by laying our children on the altar of ego, financial success, self-importance and convenience.

Regardless how old our children are, it’s never too late to turn our focus toward them, nurture them and purposefully raise them to become the kind of individual we dreamed that cute, cuddly little baby would someday be. If we don’t, our children will continue along the same path, taking the next generation one more step away from being men and women of faith, virtue and integrity. It’s up to us to provide them with the understanding of the importance of parenting so, as adults, they feel the same burden to invest in their own children the very virtues we imparted to them.

King Solomon said, “train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it” (Prov. 22:6).  If we fail to heed these words of timeless wisdom, it is very likely we will come to regret our neglectful choices while nurturing self while abandoning our responsibility to our offspring.

Because the years quickly pass let’s take every opportunity to diligently protect and guard our children as most sacred gifts from God, because that’s exactly what they are!

Jan Ross is most recognized as a keynote speaker for women’s ministry, an international missionary and an author of inspirational articles, teaching materials and commentaries on current events. She considers her role as wife and mother as of paramount importance next only to that of cultivating her relationship with Jesus Christ. Wisdom gained from being a wife of 45+ years, an adoptee who has raised both biological and adopted children, and leading an international evangelical ministry has made it possible for her to speak into the lives of men, women and youth from all walks of life. Her life’s goal is to nurture growth in the grace and knowledge of the Lord Jesus Christ. Jan has also written hundreds of articles and is a contributing author published in several anthologies and Christian media. Seasons of Refreshing, a series of seasonal devotionals, is being published and made available through her website at http://janross.org. Jan and her husband Ron live in rural North Central Ohio.